Accepting Offerings from An Elephant & A Monkey

Past travel experiences have recently caught up with me, in a good way.  It's hard to know at the time when such vivid experiences will not only turn into vivid memories but could even have a profound impact on someone's life...your own included.

In 2001 I was backpacking through Laos on my own (I highly recommend taking challenging trips alone from time to time).  I met a 20-year old who was studying to become a monk, he called himself 'Joy'.  He showed me around Vientiene, including taking me to his temple, Wat Nong Bone, where other monks were praying and chanting (I kept an open mind since I'd never been exposed to any of this before), he took me to the wild and fascinating Xiang Khouan (Buddha Park), about 25km outside of the city, arriving by tuk tuk..and, with the help of his English teacher who I could barely understand, even convinced me to teach his English class to his fellow monks-to-be.  A day I will always cherish.

Entry from "Buddha's Standing" workbook Joy sent.

We kept in touch for years.  He sent me quaint Buddha teachings, meditation beads, little books from his childhood and asked me loads of questions about my life in America.  Then hardship fell upon him and his family and we lost touch, he had to move to the countryside, no longer having access to email or phones. 


While I was taking care of my mother and grandmother for a month recently, I suddenly received an email from him:
"HI...kim
 how are you? it been so long time no hear from you and i only hope and hope
 to hear from you because i miscontact with you long
 i am Mr joy who i met you when i was monk in laos if you see this mail pls
write me i am really looking forward to hear from you
 your old friend in laos joy"

We continued a dialogue and I could begin to sense the worry he had about his mother who has not been healthy, and how he was selling their farms and other precious items to pay for a much needed operation.. he wrote things like:
"...right now what i can do for her i am plaese to do everything to save her life
what are you doing at the moment ? i will email you again when i am back from
my hometown, and how is your mom? is she getting well now.? yes sure i have to be stronger because i want to see my mom smile again"

Finally I received a desperate email from him asking for financial help to save his mom.  What could I do?  I know how much more fortunate we westerners are (in some ways).  But what if his life had changed for the worse?  Could I really believe him?  Do I have any reason to doubt him?  I didn't know what to do.  He said he would have to take an illegal job to pay for the operation and he was willing to do this.  I asked a friend for advice, she not only advised but decided to donate all her profits from an upcoming moving sale to Joy, for his mother.  WOW.  She brought up a good point, does it really even matter what he needs the money for?  Of course we like to think we are not giving money away for 'nothing', but if a person like this is desperate enough to ask someone he hasn't seen in 10 years, someone he only spent a couple of days with but made a lasting impact on their brief time in a remote land, does it really matter?  It's hard to explain the mystery behind these things, these feelings, these experiences and why these 'opportunities' happen.  And for whom are we really making these offerings, for them or for ourselves?

Novice monk, "Joy" at Buddha Park, March 2001.

On my way back into city from Buddha Park

Passing by family on way to Buddha Park, 25 km in a tuktuk.

The latest text message I received from Joy (Nov. 13, 2011):
"morning Kim, how r u?  I am so happy to tell u that today my mom, she eat a lot.  It so long time that I have not seen her like this."